Karma Houdini

that when somebody refers to themselves as a “lady”, it’s usually in a comparative context that judges other people for doing things that they choose not to?

“Because I was raised to be a lady, I don’t have premarital sex.”
“Because I’m a lady, I don’t raise my voice or curse or wear low-cut tops.”

I mean, honestly, good for you that you’ve got a set of standards and boundaries, but lady is a word that’s lost all meaning by this point. Unless you actually own a parasol or a collection of bone-china teacups, you don’t get to use that as a basis for comparison.

You’re not a Jane Austen character, and your choices aren’t the standard by which everyone else’s should be judged. Quit that.